There’s a war raging out there, misunderstood
A war that says "He isn’t good."
The same war that says "He’s not there."
This war in the flesh really begins in my head.
The enemy says: "He’s dead you know."
And what I see lines up to these lies that continue to grow
‘If He was God, he wouldn’t let you hurt, if He was good, he wouldn’t let you go’
I want to agree
I feel so trapped, how could I ever be free?
I argue in my prayers but they’re still there
I whisper out my worship, but I’m still voice it
I hunger in my fast, but I still sacrifice
I read through his word but the meaning is blurred.
Fear blossoms as I hide in it’s tree
The shade of ignorance a breeding ground for more unbelief.
I decide now that’s it’s all up to me.
Try harder, work faster, read deeper, journey further
Do more, be more, see more, know more.
Depleted by the lies that say I haven’t achieved
But then I read the Word, and it says to just believe.
My eyes begin to open, the mystery effortlessly dissolving, faith appearing.
It wasn’t my effort he wanted
All this time, all He was only after My heart
My heart after his heart
With a faith so strong, a faith beyond all else.
The war in my head that says he’s not there
The same war in my head fighting back "oh! But he’s there!"
~ X ~
Inspired by the Sermon "Choose your Stronghold" by Bill Johnson
and Podcast episode "The Mystery of God" by Saara Taaina